Sunday, May 29, 2011

Sunday Thoughts: Do you know your spouse's Love Language?

So in Relief Society today we were talking about service and I really liked some comments that were given. We were talking about serving our spouses and how their ways of giving and receiving service could be different from ours and we need to know those so we can better serve each other.

I'm not a huge advocate of the 5 Love Languages or anything, but I really think it is important to know which ways you show love and know how your spouse shows love. I just figured Chris was the same as me, but we went through them after church so we could know how we can better serve and know how to love each other. Here are the Love Languages from

1) Words of Affirmation
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

2) Quality Time
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

3) Receiving Gifts
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.

4) Acts of Service
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.

5) Physical Touch
This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.

I am definitely the words of affirmation (I love the reinforcement of doing good things or knowing that I am loved) and also the acts of service. Chris has quality time and physical touch of just holding hands and knowing that I am there. So yeah, I encourage you that have spouses to learn each other's love languages to see how you can better serve them.

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